Understanding stuttering and your child

This is a great video for parents:

http://www.youtube.com/stutteringfdn#p/u

Understanding a bully:

Most bullies are insecure and bully to build their self-esteem and feel powerful.

Many bullies were physically or emotionally abused or they’ve witnessed the abuse of other family members.

Some bullies were formerly bullied themselves.  They are taking out their anger on others or just doing what was done to them.

Spending too much time watching violent shows or playing violent games can cause the feeling that aggressive behavior is acceptable.

Bullies want to feel superior by controlling others.  They target ones who are shy and less likely to stand up for themselves.

Some bullies are jealous and bully to bring someone else down.

Some bullies are just bored and use harassing others to entertain themselves.

Bullies are often intolerant of those who are different.

Some bullies want to impress others with their power and think it is a way to earn admiration.

What to do when someone else is bullied

What bystanders can do about bullying:

Don’t be part of the problem; be part of the solution.

If weapons are present, get an adult immediately.

Speak up immediately.  Be confident and tell the bully to stop.  “Hey, cut that out.”  “Leave him alone.”

Speak to the person being bullied and ask him to come with you.

Distract the bully by saying “go on to class” or “go on home” or “come with me and let’s talk.”  If the bully comes with you, encourage him to think about the effect his actions and words have on others.  Remind him that everyone deserves respect.  Encourage him to talk about the things that are bothering him and to find alternate ways of dealing with them.

Report the bullying incident to a trusted adult.

Prevent bullying

Prevent bullying:

Make others feel accepted by making eye contact, speaking, or giving a friendly smile.

Welcome new students.  Introduce them to others with similar interests.

Be supportive of students who seem to need a friend.

Use peer pressure for good.  When peers join together, others are more likely to follow suit.

Avoid being a target by standing tall, acting confident, making eye contact, being friendly and smiling at everyone, and holding your head up.  Don’t show fear or give other reactions as that is what bullies are looking for. Say something funny to show that you are not upset such as “that’s a good one” or “wow, you got me.” Remember it is the bully that has a problem, not you.  Keep telling yourself “I’m a good person. I am strong.  I can handle this.”

Dealing with a bully

Dealing with a bully:

Don’t show emotion; a bully wants a reaction.

Try to stay in a group of friends as a bully won’t target a group.

Be confident; stand tall; hold your head up and look the bully in the eye.

Either tell the bully to leave you alone or give him a look that says “this isn’t worth my time” and walk away.

Do not respond to cyber bullies.  Print out and save everything.

If a bully is bothering you, keep a record of what was said and done and include dates, times, and places.

Tell a parent, teacher, principal, or counselor what’s happening.  Also, tell your friends so they can stay with you and give you support.Bullies try to isolate those they are bullying.  Do not let that happen.

Agreeing with a bully: Most bullies use provocative statements to get some sort of rise or reaction from you. Agreeing with them is a powerful way of turning the usual rules of bullying on their head. Your agreement will be the last thing they expect, and is a neat way to neutralize an insult. When you give one of these a go, remember that you don’t have to believe what you are saying, your goal is to get rid of the bully:   “Yes, I stutter. That is a part of me just like my being caring and intelligent.  Would you like to know more about stuttering?”

Acting as if bullying doesn’t matter is an important step towards getting rid of bullies. If they believe you don’t care, they’ll move elsewhere.

Bullies get their thrills from watching kids fight back, get upset or annoyed. They love nothing more than a big reaction. Walking away shows a bully that you’re not interested in a fight or in any confrontation whatsoever, physical or verbal.

 Once you have turned your back on a bully, walk calmly to a safe place. Turning your back might feel like the last thing you should be doing, but it can be effective.

Asking bullies to repeat what they’ve said is often enough to put them off. Most haven’t got the nerve to say it again when you ask them to. Or, agree with them and ask them if they know anything about stuttering and why 1% of the population stutters.

 

 

 

  

Stuttering and being nervous

Many people think that a person who stutters only does so because they are nervous. This paragraph explains better than I can that a person who stutters is not doing so because they are nervous.

"While anxiety is not the cause of stuttering, anxiety may make us stutter more severely at times, such as during stressful situations like talking on the phone or speaking in front of a crowd. A frustrating reality about stuttering is that when we want to stutter less, we often end up stuttering more. And when we no longer fear our stuttering, we often end up stuttering less." from this web page http://www.stutteringhelp.org/stuttering-myths-beliefs-and-straight-talk-teens

ADA and stuttering

Here is a page that I had not seen before that may be useful for some of you.  Check out all the links to get as much information as you can.

http://www.stutteringhelp.org/ada-and-stuttering

Knowing about therapy for stuttering

Knowing what to expect from speech therapy, what the therapist does, and why your child does not use what he is learning makes it easier for parents to understand the process of controlling stuttering.  This page gives information that is helpful so parents know what questions to ask the therapist.  It also helps the parents be more understanding with the child and be able to help more at home. 

http://www.stutteringhelp.org/what-happens-therapy

Police and stuttering

I found this page very interesting reading http://www.stutteringhelp.org/content/when-police-encounter-persons-who-stutter.  I have never been stopped by the police for speeding or for a routine traffic stop.  As I read this, I could imagine how it might be for someone having to respond to the questions of the police, especially for someone who stutters.  Perhaps, it would be a good idea to keep a copy of this in the car and hand it to the policeman/woman along with the drivers license so they can be educated if they aren't already.  I can't think of a better solution to the situation other than something like a medical card that states "I stutter" instead of "I have dementia" or "I have epilepsy."  Those of driving age should definitely think about the possibility of a traffic stop and how they would handle the situation so as to not have unplanned consequences like being sent to be tested for drugs, alcohol, or having to endure a search.

Cluttering

I have seen posts by people wondering what is wrong with them, and their explanation fits the description of  cluttering.  These two pages about cluttering help understand it and may help someone who has it.

http://www.stutteringhelp.org/cluttering  



http://www.stutteringhelp.org/content/one-clutterer-another%E2%80%A6-strategies-helped-me

Notes and pictures by children who stutter

I enjoy this page.  Perhaps, it helps children who stutter realize that they are not the only one who speaks differently.  http://www.stutteringhelp.org/drawings-and-letters-kids

Advice for those who stutter

For those of you who found that the link to the video was not working, I finally got it fixed.  The link will not give you an error message, now.  It is on the side as well as here: http://www.stutteringhelp.org/content/if-you-stutter-advice-adults-1

My apologies for it not working until now.
Bud

Choosing a speech therapist

This page talks about if a child should have speech therapy, how to choose a therapist, and what to expect:

http://www.stutteringhelp.org/does-my-child-need-therapy-stuttering

How parents can help a child who stutters

1. Ask the school-speech pathologist if you could participate in some of his therapy sessions. This way, you can learn the skills he is learning and find out the best ways to work with him in the home environment.
2. Ask your son what he wants you and others to do when he is having trouble speaking. Let him know that you have time to listen. Create a time each day to have a 5-10 minute conversation. Always talk face-to-face.  Practice having him "watch your face" when he talks, even if he is stuttering.  Good eye contact displays confidence.
3. Learn more about stuttering. The Stuttering Foundation of America website (www.stutteringhelp.org) has general information about stuttering. Their DVD, Stuttering: Straight Talk for Teachers provides helpful information about stuttering. The Web site www.stutteringhomepage.com has an information section for parents. Support organizations such as Friends (www.friendswhostutter.org) and the National Stuttering Association (www.westutter.org) provide an opportunity to meet other parents of school-age children who stutter. 
4. You can speak with the school therapist, who may offer assistance with your son's anxiety related to stuttering. Helpful clinical resources include the Cognitive Behavior Therapy DVD as well as David Luterman's DVD on counseling. You, as the parent, may also benefit from these DVD's. One helpful exercise is called the "Worry Ladder," which comes from a workbook addressing school-age children's attitudes and feelings about stuttering. You and your son can talk about what he "worries" about from the smallest worry to the biggest. Sometimes having a way to talk about anxieties can help reassure the child. If he has a particular concerns, such as anwering questions aloud in class, you can help him by practicing with relevant school material at home. He can also go to school a few minutes early and practice with the teacher by himself until he gets more comfortable talking in front of the entire class. The social worker or psychologist at your son's school may also provide support for the clinician working with your son. Anxiety related to stuttering can be very normal.
Editor's Note - You may want to share these resources by Dean E. Williams, Ph.D., with your child's school speech-language pathologist: Working With Children in the School Environment and Talking with Children Who Stutter. 
Most importantly, let your son know what he says is always the most important thing. Best of luck!

by Kristin A. Chmela, M.A., CCC-SLP of Northwestern University

copied from http://www.stutteringhelp.org/content/ask-experts  

Stuttering and employment

One of the hard things for most people who stutter is going to job interviews.  In addition to the things that everyone has to know like how to dress, how to act, how to write a good resume, and how to respond to questions, acknowledging up front that you have a stutter is one of the best things you can do.  If you try to hide stuttering, you most likely will stutter more.  If you tell the interviewer that you stutter but that it will not hinder your work performance, he/she will have a positive feeling about you.  You can also print out a copy of the brochure "Answers for Employers" (http://www.stutteringhelp.org/answers-employers) and take it to the interview.  If you are currently working with a speech therapist, let them know that you are getting help with your speech so they know you are trying to improve.  If you are not in speech therapy, you can find a therapist trained to work on stuttering (http://www.stutteringhelp.org/referrals-information) or you can use the book "Self Therapy for the Stutterer" (http://www.stutteringhelp.org/sites/default/files/Migrate/book0012_11th_ed.pdf).

television, radio, internet, and blogs

I find it very interesting to read other blogs, and this is one I have been reading lately http://www.stutteringhelp.org/blog

It is interesting to read about things that happen in therapy and that Harrison Craig and Lazaro Arbos have been helpful to young people who stutter who had never met anyone else who spoke like them.  They don't feel so alone in the world when they see people on television who stutter.

My uncles who stuttered didn't have a television when they were young.  I don't know how old they were before they had one or if some of them ever did.  Since nobody but their family where they lived spoke with a stutter, I bet they thought there was something wrong with only them until one left home and was sent to a speech therapist. What a different life they would have had with television, radio, and the internet to be able to get support from others who stutter.

Thankfully, the one who was sent for speech therapy learned about The Stuttering Foundation of America and their self therapy book that his therapist used.  Those who stutter and grow up in this age of technology will have it so much easier than those who grew up years ago. 

"Sometimes I Just Stutter" book

This is a great book for children who stutter http://www.stutteringhelp.org/sometimes-i-just-stutter

Do something about bullying

This boy did something to try to stop bullying at his school.  Don't let anyone bully you.

stop bullying at school

Bullying emails or texts

Don’t reply to bullying emails. It can be very tempting, but replies will keep bullies interested in communicating. Remember, bullies want to scare, intimidate or cause misery. This is exactly why silence is such a strong weapon. Freeze them out, and they won’t know if you are upset or cross.  Don’t reply to texts from people you don’t know. In some cases, bullies send out random texts and wait to see who responds.

Studying stuttering in young children

This is an interesting article about studies that are done at Purdue on stuttering in young children.  http://www.stutteringhelp.org/childhood-stuttering